Nice Picture- Shit Record

Half an hour of my time I will never get back, review for 3 Bar Fire....

Rasmus Faber-Where We Belong

Farplane

Somewhere in the deepest bowels of Hades lies a “nitetclub”, little known to all but the most cretinous of sinners.

In one room the entertainment is provided by the worst remains of indie trust fund rockers, pumping out insipid guitar anthems to moronic middle aged sinners; the other rooms bounces to the sound of ‘funky house’, and it is here that Rasmus Faber plays on rotation, for eternity……

A turbulent mix of ‘dance music’ and R&B, funky house manages to strip the only worthwhile elements of both genres and distil them down to a base torridness of plodding beats and detached vocal clichés.

Rasmus Faber has seeming picked up this baton, turning his attentions to creating “Where We Belong” an over polished, under nourished collection of vacuous funky dance pop.

It’s difficult to pick out highlights, as a succession of female vocalists implore you to ‘get down’, and ‘get with it’ in tones so detached they appear to be singing through from inside a locked bank vault.

Meanwhile on another continent Mr Faber pumps the identi house grooves, occasionally flecked with Latin percussion or over filtered pianos for that ‘authentic’ vibe.

These ‘tunes’ are destined to turn up on a double pack mixed CD adored with scantily clad females, or pumped through inadequate sound systems in suburban wine bars for perpetuity.

File next to the smell of burning flesh.

Toby Hemming